10 Things You Can Do to Live a Happier Life

Who knew that being happy was not something that comes natural and is automatic!?  You actually have to learn how to live in such a way.  My curious self (and a psychobio major) started to read up on studies and found some very interesting insight on what happier people do differently.  Not to toot my own horn, but I'm known out of all my friends as the happy go lucky positive ball of energy and crazy enough all of the things on this list that I will be sharing are things that I do and believe will contribute to being a happier YOU!  Yes there are things day to day that get me down, but big picture... I go home and think "I'm so happy!"  I know it sounds corny but I thought I'd share this.  I want to inspire you or someone you know to take on some of these tips for a happier life.

1. EXPRESS GRATITUDE. - When I wake up in the morning (I'm sooooo tired) but then I go teach my morning fitness class and think, "I'm so thankful for my amazing students!"  I say to my athletes, "Thank you for working so hard!  Thank you for making me enjoy my job!"  I'm thankful for living in beautiful SoCal.  I'm thankful for good music to pump me up.  These are just the things I think within the first couple of hours of getting up.  The day goes on and I seriously think to myself every hour what I'm thankful for!!!  The value of what you have appreciates when you appreciate it.  It's actually really cool!  You basically have a have a greater state of happiness if you appreciate all the things you already have in your life.  It's going to be pretty damn hard to appreciate anything if you're not already happy with what you have.  Being grateful for what is already evident in your life gives you a deeper sense of happiness... all without having to go out and buy anything. 
2. CREATE OPTIMISM. - I'm always quick to turn any situation into a positive one.  My friends make fun of me sometimes because I don't even realize I'm doing it.  It's actually pretty funny because I can take even a really awful situation and somehow see the bright side to it.  My friend's car got towed and here I am quick to say "At least you get to skateboard... that's fun!"  Someone comes into KMW where I sell memberships and tells me he's unemployed.  Instead of thinking "oh no, he has no money"... I think "Great, he has a ton of free time to train!"  Winners have the ability to create their own optimism.  No matter what the situation is, successful people will always convince themselves that there is a positive side.  They look at failure as a way to learn and grow from it.  Those who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially when times are rough.  Try to see the good to every situation!
3. AVOID OVER-THINKING AND SOCIAL COMPARISON. - Comparing yourself to others can be toxic!  Instead, if you really feel the urge to compare yourself... then compare yourself to an earlier version of you!  I know a few people (we all know some of these) who always compare and you can just tell they are unhappy!  It's unhealthy and I'll explain why.  If you believe you are "better" than someone, your ego grows... and boooom... the inner Kanye West is out!  You just created an unhealthy sense of superiority!  If you compare yourself and then think you're "worse," you'll start to push aside all the progress you've accomplished and discredit all of your hard work. 
   
4. PRACTICE ACTS OF KINDNESS. - I try to do something nice everyday, multiple times a day!  And every time I do, I feel really good about myself.  Reason behind this is that doing acts of kindness actually causes your brain to release a feel good chemical, serotonin.  When you do something for someone else in a selfless manner, it makes you feel good about yourself.  Also, just watching others perform acts of kindness can cause the feel good feeling as well.  I'm sure you've experienced this!  So it's an amazing positive cycle.  You feel good when you do something nice... and others around you feel good too. 
5. NURTURE SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS.  The happiest people are those who have deep, meaningful relationships.  In my opinion, I'd rather be poor and have my friends with me than rich and lonely.  If it wasn't for my amazing support team, I probably wouldn't be where I am today.  Having a good circle of friends to share your life with is important for happiness.  Interesting fact... People's mortality rates are doubled when they are lonely.  Stay connected and nurture those social relationships.
6. LEARN TO FORGIVE.  Holding on to feelings of hatred has a negative impact on your well-being.  Your brain cannot tell the difference between past and present emotions.  So if you're always thinking about the hate you have for someone, those negative emotions will eat at your immune system and it will be a never ending cycle of unhappiness.  It's better to forgive and move on.
7. INCREASE FLOW EXPERIENCES.  Flow is a state where you are completely engaged in what you are doing.  It's as if time is standing still.  You don't feel hungry, sleepy or emotional.  Your focus is turned on and nothing can distract you.  I'm basically in "flow" right now as I write this blog.  I also do this when I'm painting gloves... designing clothes for Rep Life... or teaching my Krav Maga Bag classes. 
8.  SAVOR LIFE'S JOYS.  Sometimes you need to stop and enjoy what is happening.  Slow down and take it in.  Put your phone away, forget updating your FB status, or posting on Instagram and just enjoy the magic of the moment.  It's very difficult in a world filled with stimuli to embrace life's enjoyable experiences.  Trust me, I know it's hard... I'm social media queen.  However, when I really want to take it in, I truly make effort and it's so rewarding. 
9. COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS.  Last year I made it my goal to get a muscle up by the end of the year.  I remember it being around Thanksgiving time last year and I still felt like I had so much work to do.  Early December I got my muscle up transition (basically a pull up on the rings to the bottom of a tricep dip), but was still not strong enough to press up from there.  Uggghhh how frustrating!!!  I was so determined, I practiced ring dips everyday until I finally built the strength to do it on an actual muscle up.  A week before the end of the year, I was starting to lose hope.  On Christmas Eve, I actually got my first muscle up... in fact I did 5 that day!  It was one of the most exciting things.  Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force.  Magical things start to happen when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get something done.  When you fully commit yourself, you have no choice but to work on the task at hand.  Counter-intuitively, having no option... where you cannot change your mind... subconsciously makes us humans happier because we know part of our purpose.
10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.  Taking care of your body is so important for happiness.  When you don't take care of yourself... energy levels run low... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  When you workout consistently, you not only are in better physical shape, but you feel better and have a higher sense of self-accomplishment.  Mentally, you can focus better... and spiritually, you have higher self worth.  I know that when I workout and eat healthy, I feel GREAT!  When I take a few days off and eat crap, I feel like crap.  I start to get sad and become depressed.  My self worth goes down.  All it takes is for me to get back in my routine and I'm back to sunshiny positive KHo who wants to share happiness with the world... like right now by writing this blog for you guys!
    

I hope that this list inspires you to try to acknowledge the things you already do that create happiness in life as well as give you insight to things you can do on a regular basis to stay happy!  Happiness is a state of mind that doesn't come easy!  You build your character!  You actually have to work at it but it's all worth it... and to me it takes more energy to be negative than positive anyways... so it's a win win!  

A scary wake up call... followed by so much love! I'm staying strong, everyone!

What a crazy few weeks?  I had just taken one of the best trips of my life.  I flew to Barcelona and spent two weeks exploring a different country, learning about the Spanish culture, practicing a language I learned back in high school, visiting beautiful landmarks, enjoying gorgeous weather, swimming in the blue Mediterranean Sea, soaking up the sun on new beaches, strolling through beautiful parks, hiking up fun trails, eating lots of delicious foods, etc.  It was a refreshing two weeks to get away from my normal routine.  It opened up my eyes to a whole new world that was out there and I loved every minute of it.  I laughed and smiled the entire time!!!

Upon arriving back in the States... the very next day, I was in an awful car accident.  It's crazy how literally I was hit back to reality!  The loudest, harshest, scariest hit too... BOOM!!!!!!!!!... Airbags went off... my car crumpled like an accordian... my life literally could have been taken away in a single second!  Thank god for seatbelts!  If it wasn't for wearing my seatbelt, I would've been dead! Let this be a lesson learned... always buckle up!  And the other lesson I want to share... Don't ever drive sleepy!  I know you've all done this before... you'd be lying if you say you haven't.  It's worse than drinking and driving sometimes!  I will never be so casual about driving tired from now on.  All it takes is one accident to learn this.  And I had the biggest wakeup call!  Literally, I was woken up by the crash!

After waiting in the BCN airport for 5 hours, then a 17 hour flight back from Barcelona (I didn't sleep on the plane), and then going to work the next day for a full shift plus teaching class, I was up for 49 hours (at the time I didn't realize I was up THAT long).  My jet lag was through the roof and I chose to dismiss it.  I'm not tired.  I'm okay.  I can work.  I'll be fine.  I can make it home.  That was me thinking I'm super woman and can do it all.  Sometimes you have to admit when you need to take a break.  I should've taken a nap before hitting the road home after work... but noooooo... I just wanted to get home!  I got off work around 10:30pm and I remember being so tired, yet at the same time really happy.  This meant that if I made it home, I can go to sleep and wake up in the morning at a normal hour... and voila... no more jet lag.

Unfortunately, I didn't even make it home.  I made it one block away from my apartment.  My eyes were so heavy the entire 30 minute car ride.  Nothing worse than sitting in traffic in addition to being sleepy.  The last 10 minutes was smooth sailing yet I was still ready to hit the sack.  I could not keep my eyes open.  I was exhausted.  Not even a minute from home, I must've closed my eyes and completely knocked out.  I know... how scary!!?!... Then just imagine being awoken with the loudest BOOM you have ever heard!!!!  Airbags explode!  Car crashes into what seemed like a brick wall.  Instead of being knocked out... I was knocked conscious!  The crash woke me up!  Who knows how fast I was going?  No skid marks.  I hit a parked big ass service pickup truck.  My Lexus IS 250 took all the damage.  The collision was head on.  The entire front of my car crumpled.  My car was smoking.  I remember being awoken and not even knowing where I was.  I looked up and my apartment was to my left.  Had I literally stayed awake for another minute I would've made it home safe and sound.  This was no baby tap either.  This was a pretty gnarly crash.  The pictures of my car give all of my friends heart attacks.  People look at that car and are amazed I came out in one piece.  I'm seriously blessed and thankful I'm alive and healthy and able to share this story with you.

Now back to the crash... because I know you all want details.  I was awoken... discombobulated... wondering where the fuck I was... scared... panicked... first thing I did was look for my purse and phone. Everything in my car had flown and was somewhere on the floor which was hard to see.  I frantically looked for my stuff as my car was smoking.  I just wanted to get out of there.  I imagined my car about to explode just like in the movies and I wanted to run and dive for cover.  I know that's very unlikely, but hey, you never know.  A guy saw me and asked if I was okay and if I needed him to call 911.  Again, my super woman powers kick in... "I'm okay!"... Boy, was I wrong?  I look at my legs and I see blood.  I go to the sidewalk and the world starts spinning.  I sit down on the curb and I get even dizzier.  I lie down just in case for fear of passing out and hitting my head on the concrete.  I feel my neck burning.  I literally thought my neck and chest were bleeding but had no idea why.  It turns out that the seat belt had done a number on me and burned me pretty bad!  It was red and oozing.  My right hip started to ache.  I thought I must've just bruised myself there... but when the EMTs looked, I had a pretty big laceration which ended up having to be stitched up... again from the seat belt.  Those seat belts do not mess around... they hold you in tight... and that saved my life!  It kept me in my seat but also fucked me up at the same time.  I was put on a stretcher, C-collared, and taken on an ambulance ride to the ER.  I spent my entire Thursday night in the ER awake when my whole original plan was to get home and sleep through the night to get rid of my jet lag.  Funny how right before this I was happy to be tired so I can get home and sleep.  Now how I wish otherwise.

 One of the scariest nights of my life.  I couldn't turn my head.  My neck was so stiff and in so much pain.  My vision was off and I was so scared that it wouldn't go back to normal.  I had to get 7 stitches on my hip.  Seriously though.. big picture... the fact that I managed to walk away with only a few cuts, scratches, stitches, burns, whiplash... and no broken bones or dislocations is AMAZING!  I am so lucky!  Everyone at the hospital kept saying how lucky I was.  People say an angel was watching over me... and I believe it!  I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life and I know that I must've walked away from this accident as well as I did because of all these amazing people wanting me to stay in this world.

 The next day, word got out that I was in an accident.  I must've received about 200 messages from friends and family.  The sweetest words and the most beautiful flowers were sent.  You have no idea how even the smallest gesture like a text can do wonders.  So many people wishing me well and saying how happy they are that I'm okay.  I like to think of all of you guys as little angels as well... helping me recover faster than ever.  The love from you guys keeps me staying strong.  I seriously feel so loved I can't even explain.  This is the time when someone needs it most and you all have been so great!  I was sad, depressed, in pain, feeling miserable... and at the same time I'm getting bombarded with positivity and love.  How I feel now is GREAT despite what I just endured.  I feel loved.  I feel grateful.  I feel strong and healthy and know that I can overcome this no problem.  I am thankful to have amazing friends.  I am lucky to have come out in one piece.  So many sharp pieces in the car, I'm surprised I look the way I do after that.  It could have been so much worse and I'm so thankful that this is the worst of it.

I've received a lot of messages from you guys saying how you're glad I'm okay and that you need my inspiration.  Well I'm not going anywhere.  This blog is for you guys.  I hope to inspire you.  You all know that!  Always, always, always radiate joy and positivity... it does wonders!  It's keeping me healthy and happy and able to write this for you all to read. I can't express enough how loved you  make me feel!  I'm going to bounce back in no time! :)  Thanks for all the love, everyone!

You have a beautiful body!

Yesterday I was shopping at Lululemon and a woman walked in saying "I need help.  I need something to lift, separate, hold me in.  I need help with this ugly body of mine."  The sweet girl working there replied, "You have a beautiful body!!!" and then proceeded to help her find what she needed. 

"YOU HAVE A BEAUTIFUL BODY!!!"  It was so refreshing to hear.  It was sweet.  It was genuine.  It was the truth.  She did have a beautiful body.  It just breaks my heart when I hear women say they are ugly!

I have a few girlfriends who obsess about their weight, about what they eat.  I want to get the message out there that you all are beautiful.  Sometimes, you have to forget about the scale and focus on you as a person!  You're more than just an object.  You have a mind, a personality, and attitude that can take you further than what your physicality can.

A positive body image is key and here are 10 things that I hope will help. :)

1.)  Appreciate everything your body can do.  I can do pushups!  I can do a cartwheel!  I can lift heavy shit!  I can carry all my groceries in one trip!  I can punch hard!  I can kick ass!

2.)  Keep a top 10 list of things you like about yourself - things that aren't related to how much you weigh or what you look like.  I'm smart.  I can cook.  I inspire people.  I know Krav Maga.  I'm an artist.  I can paint.  I have style.  I make people laugh.  I'm a UCLA grad.  I'm a teacher.  I'm a great friend. 

3.)  Remind yourself that "true beauty" is not simply skin deep... Beauty is a state of mind, not a state of your body.

My oh so wise friend, Scotty boy, posted this picture and I had to share his take - "Class" is a word that has become relegated to "old" people it seems. Strength, confidence and sexiness start from behind the eyes and manifest through words and actions. Skin is skin and even an infant can be nude.

4.)  Look at yourself as a whole person... choose not to focus on specific body parts.

5.)  Surround yourself with positive people.  Seriously what gets me through the day are the amazing friends I have.  Stay away from negativity and love the life you live.

6.)  Shut down those voices in your head that tell you your body is not "right" or that you are a "bad" person.  You can choose to believe what you want.  If you believe that you're great, you are great!  You can tell yourself what to do and what to believe each day!  As for me, I tell myself to be awesome every damn day!

7.)  Wear clothes that are comfortable and that make you feel good about your body.  Back to my Lululemon start of this blog.  LOL  Wearing my lulu tights or lulu shorts make me feel super sexy.  Wear it.  Own it.  I'm comfy and look good.  Holla!!!

8.)  Become a critical viewer of social and media messages.  Don't let any of that media bring you down.  Remember that those tiny models probably don't look normal in real life LOL.  Men love curves.  Love your curves. LOL

9.)  Do something nice for yourself -- something that lets your body know you appreciate it.  Today, I got myself a nice full body massage.  Yesterday, I let myself enjoy that Reese's Peanut Butter Cup! :)

10.)  Use the time and energy that you might have spent worrying about food, calories, and your weight to do something to help others.  Right now, I'm writing this blog... in hopes of helping someone out there who might need it.  :)  I hope you enjoy this and pass the message along!

You were born to be real, not to be perfect! A beautiful message you should all know and understand!

per·fec·tion

[per-fek-shuhn]

noun

1.

the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.

the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3.

a perfect embodiment or example of something.

4.

a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5.

the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

I got this definition from Dictionary.com.  Okay, but really???  Does it exist?  There's a definition but I don't think it's really out there.  I'm about to go all profound on you right now.  I told you I didn't know where I was going with this blog.  My mind wanders and I ramble but like I said, I want to spread my sunshine... my KHo-isms if you will!  This post goes deep into beauty, happiness, and the idea of perfection.  They are all related and here's my take on it...
 
Too often, we think that in order to be happy, we need everything to be perfect... but in reality once you look beyond the imperfections will you find happiness.  I think it's good to remember that it's okay to not be perfect.  I'm not perfect.  You're not perfect.  But if you're happy with yourself then that's just perfect!  :)  I probably sound like I don't make sense but if you actually follow along, I make a lot of sense.  I saw a quote that said "You were born to be real, not to be perfect."  It made me smile and inspired to me write this post.

Perfection is unattainable and when you can admit that and be true to yourself, oh god is that sexy!  There's something attractive in being real and being okay with having flaws.  I think the most beautiful things in this world have flaws and that's actually what makes them so beautiful.  Obviously, we all strive for perfection... which is not a bad thing!  But understand that perfection is kinda like a moving target!  It's definitely okay to shoot for perfection... actually, go ahead and chase it... and find excellence and amazingness while you're at it!  Just remember to not kill yourself if you don't get there... because it is always changing.  It's a moving target!  Be happy with the progress you have made.  Don't be hard on yourself and just keep going!  I'm really big on making people realize that they need to be proud of their accomplishments, no matter how big or small.  So take home message... Strive for progress, not perfection.  You will be happier!

 

 

To my fellow CrossFitters, you can relate... what I'm saying is just like CrossFit... the "strive for progress, not perfection" part.  This is kinda why CrossFit is so addicting and fun and makes you happy.  In CrossFit, you can always look at your progress and how far you've come and the feeling is incredible.  It's amazing!  Why do you think I love PRs???  The target keeps moving.  For example, when I first started CrossFit I wanted a 75# snatch.  Then I got that and then I wanted 85#... then 100#... now that I'm at 100#, I want 115#.  It's like never ending.  What's so beautiful is that I can keep chasing and then look at my progress with joy and happiness... but really it's never ending!  Instead of beating myself up for not having a 115# snatch, I look at what I've accomplished and it makes me happy! 


For those of you who don't get my CrossFit analogy... let me give you another example.  Here's why striving for progress not perfection is better.  It's like wanting the perfect body.  It's like seeing a gorgeous photoshopped model and saying "I want that"... and then striving for it, yet it's unreal!  It's ridiculous.  I'm better off striving for progress and being happy with where I'm at... and understanding that perfection is unattainable.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't aim for perfection.  I'm just saying that it's okay to not be perfect.  Shoot for the stars and land on the moon.  It's funny because I think the actual saying is "shoot for the moon and land among the stars"... but that doesn't make sense because the stars are further than the moon.  LOL Anyhow, it's okay that my arms are not as small as I want... it's okay that I don't have a six pack.  It's okay that I'm not as tall as I wish I was.  It's actually really healthy for me to know that and accept it.... much better than obsessing and hating my body.  It's coming full circle.  The fact that I'm not perfect and am okay with that... makes me happy... and that in itself is perfect!  Being perfectly okay with imperfections is beautiful.

And when it comes to love and relationships!  Love isn't the joint of two perfect people.  It's when two imperfect people learn to love and treasure each other.  It's when they can see the flaws in each other yet it doesn't matter.  It's seeing beyond the imperfections.  True love is being able to see an imperfect person perfectly!  Wow, this just got real deep!

Okay, there's my ramble on why it's okay to not be perfect and how to be happy and content with imperfections.  I think it's a beautiful thing to be real!  It's okay to have flaws!  And don't worry... someone will love you, even with your imperfections.  But first off, you must learn to love yourself... be true to yourself!  Be real and be happy and love your imperfect self! :)