A scary wake up call... followed by so much love! I'm staying strong, everyone!

What a crazy few weeks?  I had just taken one of the best trips of my life.  I flew to Barcelona and spent two weeks exploring a different country, learning about the Spanish culture, practicing a language I learned back in high school, visiting beautiful landmarks, enjoying gorgeous weather, swimming in the blue Mediterranean Sea, soaking up the sun on new beaches, strolling through beautiful parks, hiking up fun trails, eating lots of delicious foods, etc.  It was a refreshing two weeks to get away from my normal routine.  It opened up my eyes to a whole new world that was out there and I loved every minute of it.  I laughed and smiled the entire time!!!

Upon arriving back in the States... the very next day, I was in an awful car accident.  It's crazy how literally I was hit back to reality!  The loudest, harshest, scariest hit too... BOOM!!!!!!!!!... Airbags went off... my car crumpled like an accordian... my life literally could have been taken away in a single second!  Thank god for seatbelts!  If it wasn't for wearing my seatbelt, I would've been dead! Let this be a lesson learned... always buckle up!  And the other lesson I want to share... Don't ever drive sleepy!  I know you've all done this before... you'd be lying if you say you haven't.  It's worse than drinking and driving sometimes!  I will never be so casual about driving tired from now on.  All it takes is one accident to learn this.  And I had the biggest wakeup call!  Literally, I was woken up by the crash!

After waiting in the BCN airport for 5 hours, then a 17 hour flight back from Barcelona (I didn't sleep on the plane), and then going to work the next day for a full shift plus teaching class, I was up for 49 hours (at the time I didn't realize I was up THAT long).  My jet lag was through the roof and I chose to dismiss it.  I'm not tired.  I'm okay.  I can work.  I'll be fine.  I can make it home.  That was me thinking I'm super woman and can do it all.  Sometimes you have to admit when you need to take a break.  I should've taken a nap before hitting the road home after work... but noooooo... I just wanted to get home!  I got off work around 10:30pm and I remember being so tired, yet at the same time really happy.  This meant that if I made it home, I can go to sleep and wake up in the morning at a normal hour... and voila... no more jet lag.

Unfortunately, I didn't even make it home.  I made it one block away from my apartment.  My eyes were so heavy the entire 30 minute car ride.  Nothing worse than sitting in traffic in addition to being sleepy.  The last 10 minutes was smooth sailing yet I was still ready to hit the sack.  I could not keep my eyes open.  I was exhausted.  Not even a minute from home, I must've closed my eyes and completely knocked out.  I know... how scary!!?!... Then just imagine being awoken with the loudest BOOM you have ever heard!!!!  Airbags explode!  Car crashes into what seemed like a brick wall.  Instead of being knocked out... I was knocked conscious!  The crash woke me up!  Who knows how fast I was going?  No skid marks.  I hit a parked big ass service pickup truck.  My Lexus IS 250 took all the damage.  The collision was head on.  The entire front of my car crumpled.  My car was smoking.  I remember being awoken and not even knowing where I was.  I looked up and my apartment was to my left.  Had I literally stayed awake for another minute I would've made it home safe and sound.  This was no baby tap either.  This was a pretty gnarly crash.  The pictures of my car give all of my friends heart attacks.  People look at that car and are amazed I came out in one piece.  I'm seriously blessed and thankful I'm alive and healthy and able to share this story with you.

Now back to the crash... because I know you all want details.  I was awoken... discombobulated... wondering where the fuck I was... scared... panicked... first thing I did was look for my purse and phone. Everything in my car had flown and was somewhere on the floor which was hard to see.  I frantically looked for my stuff as my car was smoking.  I just wanted to get out of there.  I imagined my car about to explode just like in the movies and I wanted to run and dive for cover.  I know that's very unlikely, but hey, you never know.  A guy saw me and asked if I was okay and if I needed him to call 911.  Again, my super woman powers kick in... "I'm okay!"... Boy, was I wrong?  I look at my legs and I see blood.  I go to the sidewalk and the world starts spinning.  I sit down on the curb and I get even dizzier.  I lie down just in case for fear of passing out and hitting my head on the concrete.  I feel my neck burning.  I literally thought my neck and chest were bleeding but had no idea why.  It turns out that the seat belt had done a number on me and burned me pretty bad!  It was red and oozing.  My right hip started to ache.  I thought I must've just bruised myself there... but when the EMTs looked, I had a pretty big laceration which ended up having to be stitched up... again from the seat belt.  Those seat belts do not mess around... they hold you in tight... and that saved my life!  It kept me in my seat but also fucked me up at the same time.  I was put on a stretcher, C-collared, and taken on an ambulance ride to the ER.  I spent my entire Thursday night in the ER awake when my whole original plan was to get home and sleep through the night to get rid of my jet lag.  Funny how right before this I was happy to be tired so I can get home and sleep.  Now how I wish otherwise.

 One of the scariest nights of my life.  I couldn't turn my head.  My neck was so stiff and in so much pain.  My vision was off and I was so scared that it wouldn't go back to normal.  I had to get 7 stitches on my hip.  Seriously though.. big picture... the fact that I managed to walk away with only a few cuts, scratches, stitches, burns, whiplash... and no broken bones or dislocations is AMAZING!  I am so lucky!  Everyone at the hospital kept saying how lucky I was.  People say an angel was watching over me... and I believe it!  I'm blessed to have so many wonderful people in my life and I know that I must've walked away from this accident as well as I did because of all these amazing people wanting me to stay in this world.

 The next day, word got out that I was in an accident.  I must've received about 200 messages from friends and family.  The sweetest words and the most beautiful flowers were sent.  You have no idea how even the smallest gesture like a text can do wonders.  So many people wishing me well and saying how happy they are that I'm okay.  I like to think of all of you guys as little angels as well... helping me recover faster than ever.  The love from you guys keeps me staying strong.  I seriously feel so loved I can't even explain.  This is the time when someone needs it most and you all have been so great!  I was sad, depressed, in pain, feeling miserable... and at the same time I'm getting bombarded with positivity and love.  How I feel now is GREAT despite what I just endured.  I feel loved.  I feel grateful.  I feel strong and healthy and know that I can overcome this no problem.  I am thankful to have amazing friends.  I am lucky to have come out in one piece.  So many sharp pieces in the car, I'm surprised I look the way I do after that.  It could have been so much worse and I'm so thankful that this is the worst of it.

I've received a lot of messages from you guys saying how you're glad I'm okay and that you need my inspiration.  Well I'm not going anywhere.  This blog is for you guys.  I hope to inspire you.  You all know that!  Always, always, always radiate joy and positivity... it does wonders!  It's keeping me healthy and happy and able to write this for you all to read. I can't express enough how loved you  make me feel!  I'm going to bounce back in no time! :)  Thanks for all the love, everyone!

You were born to be real, not to be perfect! A beautiful message you should all know and understand!

per·fec·tion

[per-fek-shuhn]

noun

1.

the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.

the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3.

a perfect embodiment or example of something.

4.

a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5.

the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

I got this definition from Dictionary.com.  Okay, but really???  Does it exist?  There's a definition but I don't think it's really out there.  I'm about to go all profound on you right now.  I told you I didn't know where I was going with this blog.  My mind wanders and I ramble but like I said, I want to spread my sunshine... my KHo-isms if you will!  This post goes deep into beauty, happiness, and the idea of perfection.  They are all related and here's my take on it...
 
Too often, we think that in order to be happy, we need everything to be perfect... but in reality once you look beyond the imperfections will you find happiness.  I think it's good to remember that it's okay to not be perfect.  I'm not perfect.  You're not perfect.  But if you're happy with yourself then that's just perfect!  :)  I probably sound like I don't make sense but if you actually follow along, I make a lot of sense.  I saw a quote that said "You were born to be real, not to be perfect."  It made me smile and inspired to me write this post.

Perfection is unattainable and when you can admit that and be true to yourself, oh god is that sexy!  There's something attractive in being real and being okay with having flaws.  I think the most beautiful things in this world have flaws and that's actually what makes them so beautiful.  Obviously, we all strive for perfection... which is not a bad thing!  But understand that perfection is kinda like a moving target!  It's definitely okay to shoot for perfection... actually, go ahead and chase it... and find excellence and amazingness while you're at it!  Just remember to not kill yourself if you don't get there... because it is always changing.  It's a moving target!  Be happy with the progress you have made.  Don't be hard on yourself and just keep going!  I'm really big on making people realize that they need to be proud of their accomplishments, no matter how big or small.  So take home message... Strive for progress, not perfection.  You will be happier!

 

 

To my fellow CrossFitters, you can relate... what I'm saying is just like CrossFit... the "strive for progress, not perfection" part.  This is kinda why CrossFit is so addicting and fun and makes you happy.  In CrossFit, you can always look at your progress and how far you've come and the feeling is incredible.  It's amazing!  Why do you think I love PRs???  The target keeps moving.  For example, when I first started CrossFit I wanted a 75# snatch.  Then I got that and then I wanted 85#... then 100#... now that I'm at 100#, I want 115#.  It's like never ending.  What's so beautiful is that I can keep chasing and then look at my progress with joy and happiness... but really it's never ending!  Instead of beating myself up for not having a 115# snatch, I look at what I've accomplished and it makes me happy! 


For those of you who don't get my CrossFit analogy... let me give you another example.  Here's why striving for progress not perfection is better.  It's like wanting the perfect body.  It's like seeing a gorgeous photoshopped model and saying "I want that"... and then striving for it, yet it's unreal!  It's ridiculous.  I'm better off striving for progress and being happy with where I'm at... and understanding that perfection is unattainable.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't aim for perfection.  I'm just saying that it's okay to not be perfect.  Shoot for the stars and land on the moon.  It's funny because I think the actual saying is "shoot for the moon and land among the stars"... but that doesn't make sense because the stars are further than the moon.  LOL Anyhow, it's okay that my arms are not as small as I want... it's okay that I don't have a six pack.  It's okay that I'm not as tall as I wish I was.  It's actually really healthy for me to know that and accept it.... much better than obsessing and hating my body.  It's coming full circle.  The fact that I'm not perfect and am okay with that... makes me happy... and that in itself is perfect!  Being perfectly okay with imperfections is beautiful.

And when it comes to love and relationships!  Love isn't the joint of two perfect people.  It's when two imperfect people learn to love and treasure each other.  It's when they can see the flaws in each other yet it doesn't matter.  It's seeing beyond the imperfections.  True love is being able to see an imperfect person perfectly!  Wow, this just got real deep!

Okay, there's my ramble on why it's okay to not be perfect and how to be happy and content with imperfections.  I think it's a beautiful thing to be real!  It's okay to have flaws!  And don't worry... someone will love you, even with your imperfections.  But first off, you must learn to love yourself... be true to yourself!  Be real and be happy and love your imperfect self! :)