10 Things You Can Do to Live a Happier Life

Who knew that being happy was not something that comes natural and is automatic!?  You actually have to learn how to live in such a way.  My curious self (and a psychobio major) started to read up on studies and found some very interesting insight on what happier people do differently.  Not to toot my own horn, but I'm known out of all my friends as the happy go lucky positive ball of energy and crazy enough all of the things on this list that I will be sharing are things that I do and believe will contribute to being a happier YOU!  Yes there are things day to day that get me down, but big picture... I go home and think "I'm so happy!"  I know it sounds corny but I thought I'd share this.  I want to inspire you or someone you know to take on some of these tips for a happier life.

1. EXPRESS GRATITUDE. - When I wake up in the morning (I'm sooooo tired) but then I go teach my morning fitness class and think, "I'm so thankful for my amazing students!"  I say to my athletes, "Thank you for working so hard!  Thank you for making me enjoy my job!"  I'm thankful for living in beautiful SoCal.  I'm thankful for good music to pump me up.  These are just the things I think within the first couple of hours of getting up.  The day goes on and I seriously think to myself every hour what I'm thankful for!!!  The value of what you have appreciates when you appreciate it.  It's actually really cool!  You basically have a have a greater state of happiness if you appreciate all the things you already have in your life.  It's going to be pretty damn hard to appreciate anything if you're not already happy with what you have.  Being grateful for what is already evident in your life gives you a deeper sense of happiness... all without having to go out and buy anything. 
2. CREATE OPTIMISM. - I'm always quick to turn any situation into a positive one.  My friends make fun of me sometimes because I don't even realize I'm doing it.  It's actually pretty funny because I can take even a really awful situation and somehow see the bright side to it.  My friend's car got towed and here I am quick to say "At least you get to skateboard... that's fun!"  Someone comes into KMW where I sell memberships and tells me he's unemployed.  Instead of thinking "oh no, he has no money"... I think "Great, he has a ton of free time to train!"  Winners have the ability to create their own optimism.  No matter what the situation is, successful people will always convince themselves that there is a positive side.  They look at failure as a way to learn and grow from it.  Those who think optimistically see the world as a place packed with endless opportunities, especially when times are rough.  Try to see the good to every situation!
3. AVOID OVER-THINKING AND SOCIAL COMPARISON. - Comparing yourself to others can be toxic!  Instead, if you really feel the urge to compare yourself... then compare yourself to an earlier version of you!  I know a few people (we all know some of these) who always compare and you can just tell they are unhappy!  It's unhealthy and I'll explain why.  If you believe you are "better" than someone, your ego grows... and boooom... the inner Kanye West is out!  You just created an unhealthy sense of superiority!  If you compare yourself and then think you're "worse," you'll start to push aside all the progress you've accomplished and discredit all of your hard work. 
   
4. PRACTICE ACTS OF KINDNESS. - I try to do something nice everyday, multiple times a day!  And every time I do, I feel really good about myself.  Reason behind this is that doing acts of kindness actually causes your brain to release a feel good chemical, serotonin.  When you do something for someone else in a selfless manner, it makes you feel good about yourself.  Also, just watching others perform acts of kindness can cause the feel good feeling as well.  I'm sure you've experienced this!  So it's an amazing positive cycle.  You feel good when you do something nice... and others around you feel good too. 
5. NURTURE SOCIAL RELATIONSHIPS.  The happiest people are those who have deep, meaningful relationships.  In my opinion, I'd rather be poor and have my friends with me than rich and lonely.  If it wasn't for my amazing support team, I probably wouldn't be where I am today.  Having a good circle of friends to share your life with is important for happiness.  Interesting fact... People's mortality rates are doubled when they are lonely.  Stay connected and nurture those social relationships.
6. LEARN TO FORGIVE.  Holding on to feelings of hatred has a negative impact on your well-being.  Your brain cannot tell the difference between past and present emotions.  So if you're always thinking about the hate you have for someone, those negative emotions will eat at your immune system and it will be a never ending cycle of unhappiness.  It's better to forgive and move on.
7. INCREASE FLOW EXPERIENCES.  Flow is a state where you are completely engaged in what you are doing.  It's as if time is standing still.  You don't feel hungry, sleepy or emotional.  Your focus is turned on and nothing can distract you.  I'm basically in "flow" right now as I write this blog.  I also do this when I'm painting gloves... designing clothes for Rep Life... or teaching my Krav Maga Bag classes. 
8.  SAVOR LIFE'S JOYS.  Sometimes you need to stop and enjoy what is happening.  Slow down and take it in.  Put your phone away, forget updating your FB status, or posting on Instagram and just enjoy the magic of the moment.  It's very difficult in a world filled with stimuli to embrace life's enjoyable experiences.  Trust me, I know it's hard... I'm social media queen.  However, when I really want to take it in, I truly make effort and it's so rewarding. 
9. COMMIT TO YOUR GOALS.  Last year I made it my goal to get a muscle up by the end of the year.  I remember it being around Thanksgiving time last year and I still felt like I had so much work to do.  Early December I got my muscle up transition (basically a pull up on the rings to the bottom of a tricep dip), but was still not strong enough to press up from there.  Uggghhh how frustrating!!!  I was so determined, I practiced ring dips everyday until I finally built the strength to do it on an actual muscle up.  A week before the end of the year, I was starting to lose hope.  On Christmas Eve, I actually got my first muscle up... in fact I did 5 that day!  It was one of the most exciting things.  Being wholeheartedly dedicated to doing something comes fully-equipped with an ineffable force.  Magical things start to happen when we commit ourselves to doing whatever it takes to get something done.  When you fully commit yourself, you have no choice but to work on the task at hand.  Counter-intuitively, having no option... where you cannot change your mind... subconsciously makes us humans happier because we know part of our purpose.
10. TAKE CARE OF YOUR BODY.  Taking care of your body is so important for happiness.  When you don't take care of yourself... energy levels run low... physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  When you workout consistently, you not only are in better physical shape, but you feel better and have a higher sense of self-accomplishment.  Mentally, you can focus better... and spiritually, you have higher self worth.  I know that when I workout and eat healthy, I feel GREAT!  When I take a few days off and eat crap, I feel like crap.  I start to get sad and become depressed.  My self worth goes down.  All it takes is for me to get back in my routine and I'm back to sunshiny positive KHo who wants to share happiness with the world... like right now by writing this blog for you guys!
    

I hope that this list inspires you to try to acknowledge the things you already do that create happiness in life as well as give you insight to things you can do on a regular basis to stay happy!  Happiness is a state of mind that doesn't come easy!  You build your character!  You actually have to work at it but it's all worth it... and to me it takes more energy to be negative than positive anyways... so it's a win win!  

You were born to be real, not to be perfect! A beautiful message you should all know and understand!

per·fec·tion

[per-fek-shuhn]

noun

1.

the state or quality of being or becoming perfect.

2.

the highest degree of proficiency, skill, or excellence, as in some art.

3.

a perfect embodiment or example of something.

4.

a quality, trait, or feature of the highest degree of excellence.

5.

the highest or most nearly perfect degree of a quality or trait.

I got this definition from Dictionary.com.  Okay, but really???  Does it exist?  There's a definition but I don't think it's really out there.  I'm about to go all profound on you right now.  I told you I didn't know where I was going with this blog.  My mind wanders and I ramble but like I said, I want to spread my sunshine... my KHo-isms if you will!  This post goes deep into beauty, happiness, and the idea of perfection.  They are all related and here's my take on it...
 
Too often, we think that in order to be happy, we need everything to be perfect... but in reality once you look beyond the imperfections will you find happiness.  I think it's good to remember that it's okay to not be perfect.  I'm not perfect.  You're not perfect.  But if you're happy with yourself then that's just perfect!  :)  I probably sound like I don't make sense but if you actually follow along, I make a lot of sense.  I saw a quote that said "You were born to be real, not to be perfect."  It made me smile and inspired to me write this post.

Perfection is unattainable and when you can admit that and be true to yourself, oh god is that sexy!  There's something attractive in being real and being okay with having flaws.  I think the most beautiful things in this world have flaws and that's actually what makes them so beautiful.  Obviously, we all strive for perfection... which is not a bad thing!  But understand that perfection is kinda like a moving target!  It's definitely okay to shoot for perfection... actually, go ahead and chase it... and find excellence and amazingness while you're at it!  Just remember to not kill yourself if you don't get there... because it is always changing.  It's a moving target!  Be happy with the progress you have made.  Don't be hard on yourself and just keep going!  I'm really big on making people realize that they need to be proud of their accomplishments, no matter how big or small.  So take home message... Strive for progress, not perfection.  You will be happier!

 

 

To my fellow CrossFitters, you can relate... what I'm saying is just like CrossFit... the "strive for progress, not perfection" part.  This is kinda why CrossFit is so addicting and fun and makes you happy.  In CrossFit, you can always look at your progress and how far you've come and the feeling is incredible.  It's amazing!  Why do you think I love PRs???  The target keeps moving.  For example, when I first started CrossFit I wanted a 75# snatch.  Then I got that and then I wanted 85#... then 100#... now that I'm at 100#, I want 115#.  It's like never ending.  What's so beautiful is that I can keep chasing and then look at my progress with joy and happiness... but really it's never ending!  Instead of beating myself up for not having a 115# snatch, I look at what I've accomplished and it makes me happy! 


For those of you who don't get my CrossFit analogy... let me give you another example.  Here's why striving for progress not perfection is better.  It's like wanting the perfect body.  It's like seeing a gorgeous photoshopped model and saying "I want that"... and then striving for it, yet it's unreal!  It's ridiculous.  I'm better off striving for progress and being happy with where I'm at... and understanding that perfection is unattainable.  I'm not saying that you shouldn't aim for perfection.  I'm just saying that it's okay to not be perfect.  Shoot for the stars and land on the moon.  It's funny because I think the actual saying is "shoot for the moon and land among the stars"... but that doesn't make sense because the stars are further than the moon.  LOL Anyhow, it's okay that my arms are not as small as I want... it's okay that I don't have a six pack.  It's okay that I'm not as tall as I wish I was.  It's actually really healthy for me to know that and accept it.... much better than obsessing and hating my body.  It's coming full circle.  The fact that I'm not perfect and am okay with that... makes me happy... and that in itself is perfect!  Being perfectly okay with imperfections is beautiful.

And when it comes to love and relationships!  Love isn't the joint of two perfect people.  It's when two imperfect people learn to love and treasure each other.  It's when they can see the flaws in each other yet it doesn't matter.  It's seeing beyond the imperfections.  True love is being able to see an imperfect person perfectly!  Wow, this just got real deep!

Okay, there's my ramble on why it's okay to not be perfect and how to be happy and content with imperfections.  I think it's a beautiful thing to be real!  It's okay to have flaws!  And don't worry... someone will love you, even with your imperfections.  But first off, you must learn to love yourself... be true to yourself!  Be real and be happy and love your imperfect self! :)